- The Weekly Vasl
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- Rediscovering Emotional Intimacy
Hi, there! I'm writing this newsletter just before I head off on my holiday – my bags are packed and I'm all set to jet off to Japan. Over the next few weeks, I'll be exploring Japan and enjoying some quality time, embarking on my first ever long trip with my daughter. I'm curious to see how the 13-hour flight will go, but I'll be sure to keep you updated. I'm excited to discover all that Japan has to offer. Now, onto today's topic: emotional intimacy and why I think it's lacking in today's dating culture. But first...
Weekly Inventory Check
Let's take a moment to reflect and plan ahead, as February came to a close. What progress did you make last month? Did you achieve what you aimed for? Have you completed the tasks or goals you set out to accomplish? Or did you encounter obstacles along the way, leaving some tasks or goals unfinished? Take a closer look at the reasons behind any setbacks, understand what occurred, and consider how to prevent them from recurring next month.
Rediscovering Emotional Intimacy
As I was discussing the portrayal of intimacy in movies, I couldn't help but notice a disparity between emotional and physical intimacy. It appears that while many are comfortable engaging in casual physical encounters, they tend to shy away from emotional vulnerability, erecting walls to protect themselves. This stands in stark contrast to the traditional approach I was raised with, where relationships developed naturally from friendship to deeper emotional connections.
For me, the progression towards parenthood and committed relationships has always felt like a natural course of life. Despite the challenges, such as those I've encountered in fatherhood, where sleepless nights are a common occurrence, I see these experiences as part of life's journey. It's about embracing both the joys and the hardships, and devoting oneself to nurturing the next generation.
However, in contemporary Western society, there seems to be a tendency to prioritize physical gratification over emotional connection. This leads to a reluctance to fully invest in emotional intimacy, with individuals often reserving their deepest emotions for a select few. This creates a sense of emotional detachment, where relationships are approached with a 'back door' mentality, allowing for easy exits if things become too emotionally challenging.
In my view, this approach undermines the essence of true connection and intimacy. Relationships should be built on a foundation of emotional openness and vulnerability, allowing for genuine growth and understanding between partners. Yet, in today's dating culture, there is often an emphasis on immediate gratification and a reluctance to invest time in building meaningful connections.
Henry Cavill, known for his role as Superman, recently expressed his puzzlement over the value of sex scenes in movies. He questioned their significance beyond showcasing naked bodies of older individuals. It seems that media, including adult entertainment, has altered our perceptions of intimacy and what it should entail. Consequently, people may prioritize the physical aspect, mistaking it for genuine connection. However, in reality, it often lacks meaningful value beyond fleeting satisfaction.
I believe we need to revisit the value of emotional intimacy and take the time to truly get to know one another before committing to a relationship. By fostering genuine friendships and allowing relationships to evolve naturally, we can create deeper and more fulfilling connections. It's a perspective that challenges the prevailing norms of modern dating culture, but one that I believe is worth considering.
Want More?
One of the articles on the Kinsey Institute News suggests how the “touch” can sometimes be just enough to solve a couple problems.
Julia Schwab, on her blog, shares why people are afraid of emotional intimacy.
Betterhelp digs deeper into how physical intimacy is different from sexual passion and whether or not the latter leads to intimacy.
Reel of the Week
Check out our reel of the week. It's in the little things, like washing dishes side by side and allowing space for individual growth, that true love takes root. In the gentle embrace of sharing responsibilities and honoring each other's solitude, real love whispers its sweetest melodies.
The Weekly Vasl Podcast
Our episode on developing a habit is out now! You can watch it below! As we step into March, I return with my beloved theme: self-improvement through the cultivation of consistent habits. A notable figure in this arena is Michal Stawicki, fondly known as Mr. Consistency, who serves as an inspiration for many. Stawicki's journey is a testament to his unwavering dedication to building and sustaining positive habits while effectively navigating triggers and temptations. His notable achievement includes proving that, on average, habits can be firmly established in a span of 66 days. What sets Stawicki apart is not just his personal accomplishments but his commitment to sharing practical wisdom. He has authored several books on self-improvement, each born out of his own transformative experiences. Through these writings, he underscores the notion that self-improvement is not an abstract concept but a tangible and achievable reality. Stawicki emphasizes the power of simple systems and incremental changes, showcasing that significant results can be attained through small, consistent efforts. His approach resonates with individuals seeking lasting personal growth, providing a roadmap for those ready to make meaningful changes in their lives.
The Meet up
Our upcoming meet up is scheduled for March. I will share the details and registration link soon.
Thoughts to Leave You With
In conclusion, the portrayal of relationships in popular media and culture often overlooks the importance of emotional intimacy, leading to a superficial approach to dating and relationships. It's a trend that warrants reflection and consideration, particularly in light of the growing prevalence of loneliness and dissatisfaction in contemporary society.
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